Horoscopes of the week

By Rosa Ostrom

Aries: March 21 - April 19

In preparation for the next hot spell, you’ll want to do some scavenging. Look for classy shades, wading pools and parasols.

Taurus: April 20 - May 20

This is the kind of week where mischievous friends of yours will tie your shoelaces together. Be careful when you stand up — you don’t want to fall on your tailbone!

Gemini: May 21 - June 20

You are being watched. A secret admirer is in your midst. Should they reveal themselves, go for it!

Cancer: June 21 - July 22

While you have the sign with perhaps the most unfortunate name, don’t fret. You’ll be in good health for quite some time to come.

Leo: July 23 - Aug. 22

Were you expecting something in the mail? No? A surprise is headed your way, although you may not find it useful at first. Worry not. There are many uses for marsupials.

Virgo: Aug. 23 - Sept. 22

Taking some time to stop and smell the roses may result in pollen-induced sneezing, or worse, a bee sting in your left nostril. Don’t worry about the world’s beauty — it will still be there next week!

Libra: Sept. 23 - Oct. 22

Release your inner lion! It can be hard to hide those sharp teeth and that bushy mane, but those problems are nothing when you think about all the fun you can have as king of the jungle.

Scorpio: Oct. 23 - Nov. 21

Time to polish up all those cheesy pickup lines you learned in cub scouts! The best way to get to your potential sweetie is through her funny bone, so the goofier, the better.

Sagittarius: Nov. 22 - Dec. 21

You may wish you were somewhere else this week, Sagittarius, but take heart: that somewhere else would actually have been even worse. Indulge a Taurus and you will be rewarded in return.

Capricorn: Dec. 22 - Jan. 19

Be nice to that teacher that you kind of dislike. While it might be difficult, your struggle will pay off when your participation grade goes way up.

Aquarius: Jan. 20 - Feb. 18

You should probably remove those photographs from your computer. Yes, you know the ones … you don’t want them mysteriously turning up and causing a scandal when you run for president in 20 years.

Pisces: Feb. 19 - March 20

When you turn on WECI this afternoon, it will be playing your favorite song. This is a good omen, and one that indicates a killer dance party in your future.

 

Horoscopes are for entertainment purposes only and are not based on the movements of celestial bodies

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