Say What? Quakers abandon consensus
By William Duffee
The Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) announced Tuesday, Feb. 2 that it has abandoned the process of consensus and has put in its place a new model of decision-making.
The new process, titled “Voice Volume Value System” (VVVS), involves shouting as loud as one can, and whoever shouts the loudest is declared the winner of the debate. However, this new method extends past decision-making and applies to all forms of debate, according to the Quakers’ statement.
Earlham College Co-President Boug Dennett was one of the founders of VVVS.
“WE REALLY FEEL THAT THS IS AN EASIER PROCESS THAN CONSENSUS,” said Dennett. “THIS WAY, WE SAVE MUCH MORE TIME IN OUR RELATIONS AND CONVERSATIONS WITH ONE ANOTHER.”
Some Quakers expressed disagreement with the announcement.
“This is the result of a few rogue Friends who have become obsessed with power,” said Stout Meetinghouse Clerk George Penn. “This isn’t at all what our founding Friends intended.”
Quaker Elizabeth Penington agreed.
“I am extremely unhappy with this decision. Consensus was a method through which all parties could be satisfied with a conclusion,” she said.
“THEY’RE JUST MAD BECAUSE THEY HAVE PUNY AND INCOMPETENT VOICES,” said Dennett, which he then followed with an extended laugh.
Quaker Expert Rufus Woolman said that this decision could be a pivotal moment in Quaker history.
“Well, it would probably be the first time in history that all members of a religious group shredded their vocal chords in such a short amount of time,” said Woolman. “But I suppose it’s also important that it, you know, changes the whole Quaker society thing. I guess.”
Most students are unsure of how VVVS will affect the Earlham experience. Some believe the new system doesn’t bode well for class discussions, but others are enthusiastic about the change.
“I really don’t think this is civilized,” said sophomore John Fox. “Arguments suddenly don’t need to make any sense at all.”
“YOUR FACE DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE, JOHN,” said junior Ben Ricardo, who then exclaimed, “I WIN!”
Dennett said that VVVS might be made mandatory for all classroom discussions. Such a clause is currently being considered for Earlham’s Principles and Practices document.
Woolman believes that the clause will be adopted soon.
“I mean, the committee which reviews Principles and Practices has already adopted VVVS, so the opposition doesn’t stand much of a chance,” Woolman said. “Especially when considering the how fervently the VVVS supporters react to anyone who disagrees with them.”
In the meantime, Dennett advises that you conduct yourself according to the new model, as he thinks preparation for VVVS would be beneficial.
“YEAH, YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY START NOW,” said Dennett. “BUT ONLY IF YOU WANT TO WIN.”
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