Forum discusses sexual violence
by Michael Skib
There was much enthusiasm at the newly created Earlham Men’s Forum’s luncheon meeting on Oct. 9. Seventeen people attended the group’s third meeting in the room on the second floor of the coffee shop. Sydney Sasanow, co-convener of AASV, is working for Andrea Hively-Fernandez, assistant director of Residence Life as the group’s facilitator. Their goal is to create an autonomous group that gets men involved in sexual violence activism and in coordination with AASV, as well as to create a space where men can feel comfortable to discuss the issues surrounding masculinity and their own gender identity.
An open, uninhibited discussion of the issue of sexual violence that involves men and women is always a difficult thing to achieve, though as Sasanow pointed out, this may be especially true at a school like Earlham, where students generally try to avoid offending one another even if it means sacrificing a dialogue that could generate change in our understanding of the issue. There was also a general consensus among the members present at the Men’s Forum that men are often marginalized in the discussion of sexual violence.
Sophomore Chris Harms said, “The minute you say ‘Well, let’s look at men and how they look at themselves and how this fits into the problem of sexual violence,’ you run the risk of getting accused of not caring about how women feel.”
One of the issues frequently bemoaned by AASV is the lack of involvement from the men on this campus. According to Sasanow, “I think that it’s because of the discourse that’s been on campus about women feeling like they need to be protected from men, and men feeling threatened by that.” In addition, male survivors of sexual assault may feel that their experiences won’t be validated in a mostly female setting, where men are usually seen as the aggressor.
Men who have never engaged in sexual violence frequently feel like they are being put on the defensive because of the attitude that is taken, by men as well as women, on this issue.
“It is important to see people as individuals,” said Sasanow, “as well as to recognize and respect the full spectrum of masculinity.”
Sasanow sees the creation of the Men’s Forum as a small step towards more involvement and activism against sexual violence by men. “Already, because of the men’s forum, more guys have started to come to AASV. We’re trying to get as many people involved in this dialogue as possible.” As far as prevention of sexual violence goes, male involvement is key, and a space to facilitate that involvement hasn’t really existed at Earlham in the past. Senior Ben Smith said, “I feel that a space to talk about masculinity in a positive way is needed.”
Ideas regarding how to do this were plentiful. Among them were having a faculty panel to discuss masculinity, film screenings and activities that are not generally associated with a traditional view of masculinity, like painting a mural. A play, or series of dialogues tentatively titled “The Testicle Testimonies,” was also suggested. Perhaps the biggest event the group is planning is to bring the Hawaiian slam poet Kealoha (stage name of Steven Kealohapau`ole Hong Ming Wong) to one of the Men’s Forum meetings.
Though sexual violence is typically discussed as between a man and a woman, the last thing the group wishes to do is be heteronormative. Junior Oliver Jacobs Dougherty added, “This is not the straight men’s forum to talk about sexually assaulting women. That is such the dominant narrative.” He then rhetorically asked the group, “How can we avoid engaging in that?”
The group plans to meet again during lunch next Friday, in the conference room on the second floor of the coffee shop. Anybody who identifies himself as a male is encouraged to come, and to become involved in fighting sexual violence.
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